What do you do??

Do you ever feel a sense of helplessness with your children? I think it's worse when you are adopting from a foreign country. Caroline is still sick and has yet to have a normal bowel movement. She has a horrible chest cold/congestion that is not getting better. After going to the doctor once, I think we are going to have to go back to get more medicine and a suppository of some sort. Her stomach is very bloated and she is now spitting up her food, which she has not done this week. I guess it has to come out one end?? My heart is breaking because I feel that in the pit of my stomach something bad will happen if I leave. I have extended my visit to make sure that I can get her healthy before I give her back to the foster mom. After all, the foster mom is the one who took her to the bad doctor and he gave her bad medicine. I am also very worried about our passport picture. We supposedly got our birth certificate on Friday and we should be able to get our passport done on Monday. However, I am now being told that it will take at least another week to do a simple process. EVERYONE says that it can be done the next day and I am not sure why ours can't be processed. What's the hold up? What's wrong with my case? Why is it being stalled? WHY? WHY? WHY? I wish that I had the answers, but of course, I don't. My mother instinct has kicked in and I feel very torn about what to do. I feel that if I leave, nothing will get done or it will take another two months to do what should be done in a week. Also, if I leave, I have concerns about Caroline's health. I can't stay because of the money factor (BIG one!!!) and responsibilities at home. My heart is torn because I know that there is not a right answer. Please pray for peace and for Tim and I to do the right thing.

Pool Party

Medical Drama

When we got Caroline we were told that she had been to the doctor for a fever and chest congestion. We should give her a certain type of medicine 3 times a day until Tuesday. We also were told that she should get another set of medicine 2 times a day indefinitely for teething. We didn't feel like she was getting any better and she was severely constipated. She managed to get out a rock with some blood on it for us. I was really worried so I tagged along to the doctor's office with another friend. It turns out that Caroline did not go to see the right doctor, but was taken to a "cheapy" clinic down the street. The doctor gave her medicine and such. BUT...the medicine that she was getting for the chest cold turned out to be a bad medicine and they pulled it from the shelf. It's the equivalent of an adult breathing treatment and races their hearts too much. In other words, a heart attack. The teething medicine turned out to be MUCH stronger than adult tylenol or motrin and was also banned. The doctor was so upset with my fostermom and he threw the medicine away. The medicines have bad side effects such as SEVERE constipation, crankiness, fidgety, nervous ticks, etc.... It started make sense as to why she was feeling so rotten! The doctor said that she was overmedicated and still needed to be on antibiotics, but because she had so much in her system, he didn't want her to have anything. We have some herbal medicine that we can start giving to her on Friday morning if needed. Also, if she isn't getting any better, I have to go back in with her. After hearing all of this, I started crying when I got out of the clinic. I was so relieved that she was okay, but so angry that she was taking bad medicine. My heart is torn as to whether to yell at her fostermom or kindly but sternly, remind her of the seriousness of her action. Today, Caroline is returning to her usual jovial self. She's much happier and will let my mom hold her and push her in the stroller. She dances to music and does what we call "a happy dance". This is usually when she is eating!!! :) She laughs and loves to stink her tongue out and mimic you. I love her so much!!! Life just feels right when I am with her. It's going to be hard leaving her. But, the end is near and it will be a very quick turnaround. Please pray for our birth certificate to come in on Friday. Our facilitator is expecting a batch of them and ours should be in it. A group should have been finished today, but they told him to come back on Friday. Pray for a quick process while we are at the end. After our BC is issued, we then get our passport photo and then we are submitted for orange. Orange being the second DNA. Also pray for our pathetic agency and that they do the right thing and pay the second half of our country fee. Right now, they are holding out and unfortunately, we are in the middle of DRAMA!!! Stay tuned tomorrow for more of that! Have a great night and I'll leave you with the video and more pics. :)

Some more Caroline Cuteness

It's been very difficult to blog these past few days. We've been experiencing agency drama and so on. Here's some pictures and a video. You'll need to turn off the songs at the bottom of the site to hear the volume from the video. I'll also include some doctor pics and a medical update drama we had to experience. Craziness!

Are you for real? Really? I'm coming home???

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES!!!

Can I get an O, a U, a T????? What's that spell???? OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep, you heard it right, we got the call today, we are out of PGN!!! God is SO good!

We knew that today could possibly be the "it" day. One of our friends was calling today, but could not get through. I described it as a band aid that was slowly being ripped off of a wound. LOL!

At lunch, my phone rang and I looked down at the caller ID. I saw the name and immediately my heart dropped into my stomach. It was not the person that I was expecting to call. I answered the phone and he was very solemn. He asked if I had a moment and if I was sitting down. I was staring at one of my fellow teachers across the table and my eyes were watering. He then proceeded to tell me that our facilitator had gotten an out and....we were IT! In my mind, I really thought that I was screaming for joy, however, my friend said that my face immediately began to crumble and tears started flowing. I looked at her and she was crying because I was crying. I nodded my head and gave her a thumbs up!!! WE WERE OUT!!!

It was amazing! My students started running up to me and jumping up and down. You see, as soon as I picked up the phone, I could feel my students' heads immediately jerk to attention. They were just as nervous and excited as I was! I swear, I felt that I was going to vomit or pass out. My head started hurting as the tension and stress immediately lifted off of me. (Just like Becky told me!!!)

I just kept saying "Thank you Lord" over and over again. However, thank you, just doesn't seem to be enough. What do you say to the Lord who was faithful with His promise? I just can't even find the praises to sing to Him. For once, I am completely speechless! God truly gets the glory for this out. Our prayer has been that God will be glorified and we will just fall to the wayside. "You are the Lord, the God of all mankind. Nothing is too hard for You!" Jeremiah 32:27 This has been the verse that I wake up saying and go to bed saying. I have never prayed over a verse so hard in my life. As a matter of fact, it has now become my life verse.

Thank you God!!! WE ARE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

PGN progress...Please keep praying!!!!

Tick tock, tick tock...fingers drumming on the desk...pacing back and forth waiting on THE phone call...updating the outlook inbox every minute...WAITING...

We should be getting really good at waiting. We are now approaching "the day". Tim called to check on our case this week and we are still on the 2nd reviewer's desk. That's good, that means no kick outs. We are keeping track on all the PGN outs and supposedly they are signing off on December 10-14th submits. Laura (in PGN) told Tim to call back next week and we should know something more.

We are sitting on pins and needles as we wait to call on Thursday. PLEASE keep praying that we hear GREAT news, the BEST news next week. I think it's even more nerve wrecking knowing that we are in the final leg of the race. Do we have enough stamina to finish? YOU BET! Do we have enough faith to know that we are almost there? YOU BET! Do we need your prayers now more than ever? ABSOLUTELY!

P.S....Tim is embarrassed that I put on the last post that I do not cook. Actually, I do cook, not very often and not very good. I'm not blessed with that talent and Tim is such an amazing cook and baker. I'm fortunate that he loves to cook and is so good at it! But, I still don't do leftovers!!! :)