Friday, September 21, 2007

Not Good-Bye, but See You Soon

Well, as I sit here and type, I am getting ready to head back home tomorrow morning. I've packed all of Caroline's clothes, toys, and activity centers. As I look at all her stuff, tears are flowing down my face. It's just not fair that a mom must leave her daughter in a foreign country to be "raised" by a stranger. Something is just not right about this situation. I even have to think that God is sad tonight as well. It's pouring rain! God is sending down his tears for us in Guatemala. I sadly leave here without having Caroline's PA and without any knowledge of why we don't have it. I'll send them another email on Monday morning and if no reply, then I'll call our senator's office. I'm hoping that since we have stayed so long in this step, then the last step will fly by! In order to make myself feel better, I always make our next set of reservations before I leave. Of course, I don't know when we are coming back to pick her up, but I wanted something to hold onto. I reserved the week before Thanksgiving and the week of Thanksgiving. However, I pray that it will be sooner and not later.

I often wonder if Caroline understands why her mommy is leaving her or if she is too young to "get it". My mom says that she is too young and her happy disposition eases the transition. What do you think? Someone once told me that leaving each time gets a little easier, but I think it just gets harder. Leaving seems to represent one more thing/step that we are missing.

As Caroline's shirt says...SMILE!!! I'll see you soon my little girl!

Smile Mommy! I'll see you soon!

YUMMY! My burp cloth tastes great!

She is her Daddy's girl!

Mommy's little angel!

Another picture????


Lou said...

Leaving NEVER got easier for got harder every time. When AP was 5 months old it really bothered her when I left. I said at that point that I wouldn't come back until I could bring her home. It was just too hard on the both of us. It was 3 months in between the last two trips, and I missed her so badly I felt sick. BUT it was a very happy reunion! Our PA took almost 60 days back when it was supposed to be 30, so I feel your pain.... There is no rhyme or reason to this entire process, and I just pray that your process continues to go smoothly. Your case is really on a good track to have her home at a young age.

Blessings and love,

Anonymous said...

I so enjoy going to your site and checking out the pictures of your beautiful little girl and learning about your journey. When you have her at home, all of the time that she wasn't physically with you will totally just disappear. Your heart will be so full that the heartbreak you feel now will just be a memory. With all things in motherhood, just when you think you are about to lose your mind -- something saves you -- one phase ends and a new one begins. I hope this is true for you. Hang in there and know you are in my thoughts.
God's Peace,

Diana said...

Bethany I am SOOOOO sorry to hear about your ankle! I hope it feels better soon. The embassy is getting rediculous! They need to get off their butts and get you your PA! Hopefully your Senator will be able to help and I hope you get it soon!!!!!


Sharon & Bill said...

I just found your blog!! Caroline is just beautiful. We are adopting a little girl from Guatemala too but our agency did closed visitation so we were not able to visit. I wonder sometimes if it is a blessing in disguise. I don't know how I would have handled leaving her. I am praying you get your PA soon!