Friday, November 30, 2007

STILL WAITING!!!! But that's okay...

No news again! It's not bad news, but not the news I was expecting. According to our facilitator, he didn't get the two cases he was expecting. How am I feeling? I'm actually okay with it. I told him that I've been praying really hard and I refuse to accept any bad news. God knows that I can't handle bad news, so he's taking a little longer until the time is right. I think he thought that I was crazy! I guess it does sound crazy to a non-believer. But, as I've been reminded, God is going to be seen moving in our case. There will be no other explanation as to how it was done, but God and His hand. When we started this process, I never would have thought that God would use us in His plan. Perhaps His plan is to move our facilitator's heart. To some, the only way to believe is to see. Remember Thomas???? God will deliver Caroline and in the process, He will perform amazing miracles. I just know it. Today was not our day, but that doesn't mean that next week won't be. Just keep praying for our miracle. I'm to call back on Monday. Maybe it's going to be Miracle Monday???

Thursday, November 29, 2007

No News for Today :(

I just got off the phone with our facilitator and we still don't know anything. He did say that one of his cases was kicked out (it was not one of the original two), but he doesn't have any information on our case. I have to call back tomorrow afternoon to find out if we are coming out. I suppose that actually no news is good news right now. I prayed for an OUT, but was not willing to accept any bad news. I didn't get bad news, but didn't get the information I was looking for. Please keep praying for Caroline to be released tomorrow. I have accepted the fact that Christmas is not happening, but I cannot and will not accept a kick out.

Hey God, can You hear me????

Dear Lord,

I'm waiting by the phone in excitement and nervousness. Lord, today I'm supposed to call Guatemala to see if we are out. Lord, I just pray right now that you bless our family with good news. I pray in your Son's name that when I make the phone call that I'm only given good news. You tell us to ask for our desires and believe in faith that you will answer them and you will. Lord, I will not accept bad news of any kind. Please calm my fears and nervousness and take them away. Lord, you are Almighty and Powerful. Lord, you can turn your hand and deliver Caroline out of PGN. Lord, you know where her files are and your timing is perfect. Lord, you are Perfect. I trust you and believe in you and you will answer my prayers. Lord, please, please, please answer my prayers tonight. Amen.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Tough, tough day

Today has been a tough, tough day. Actually, it's been a pretty tough weekend. We left our little angel back in Guatemala on Saturday morning. Like I've always said, it's just unnatural to leave your child in a foreign country with strangers. Um, strangers??? I guess I can't call them strangers, they are the ones raising my child in my absence. I hate that! I hate the fact that I can't bring her home. I hate the fact that I don't know the answers to when she's coming home. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
I've refused to talk about it. If I talk about it, then my feelings become too real. At this point, I feel that I must supress my feelings so that I can function. All day long, I thought that at any moment I was going to burst into tears, uncontrollable tears. All I keep thinking about is watching her walk away from me. My heart is broken and my mind is numb. As a matter of fact, my whole body is numb.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Still Praying for Our Christmas Miracle

Worth the Wait???
You bet!!! I'm totally worth the wait!!!
Sleeping Beauty
My little Rollie Pollie

Yesterday, our facilitator told us that he knew of two cases coming out of PGN. He wasn't sure whose or the details. Ours wasn't one of them. Now, the good news is...we are still IN PGN and not KO'd. No news really is good news right now. Unfortunately, our friends, the Millers, were one of the cases that were KO'd. Needless to say, Thanksgiving wasn't a joyous time for them. My heart broke for their bad news and my heart is still prepared for the worst for us. I am hoping that since we had such a difficult time with our PA, that the worst is over. Tim had thought that the facilitator told them they were out. I looked at him and I thought he was going to vomit. For the first time during this process, I saw the pain on his face. Someone else's joy was his pain. However, when I told him the facts, he felt really bad for them.

We were looking at windows of opportunity for a possible pick up trip in December. The Marriott is almost completely booked up! We think we may go ahead and make possible reservations for about a three-four week period of time.

Please continue to pray that Caroline comes home before Christmas. I can't bear to think that we won't have her home. My heart actually cannot go down that road. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE join us with this prayer!!!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Caroline and Samantha (foster sisters)

Caroline and Samantha (foster sisters)
Heads leaning towards each other
Alejandra (daughter to FM), Caroline, Juliza (FM), Samantha
Our Foster Family and Us (it took 4 pics to finally get this one!)
Aren't I the most adorable baby????

Happy turkey day! We have no news to report from PGN yet. Our facilitator told us that two of his cases are supposed to come out today, he doesn't know which ones and if they are approvals or KO's. We have been praying that one of those cases is ours and it is not a Kick Out! We won't know anything until much later in the day.
On Tuesday night, we celebrated Caroline's foster sister Samantha's 1st birthday at the Marriott. It's really neat to see the two of them together. They are super cute and definitely recognize each other. I bet our foster mom is enjoying her vacation this week! I wonder what she is doing...sleeping and enjoying the peace and quiet!!!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

We have some movement!!!

Caroline has been constipated and we've been worried about her for a few days. How much prunes does it take to get some relief??? A LOT!!!! We are getting some outage and now we are moving on to prune juice and apple juice. I don't want to call the doctor for help, but we may need too. She's feeling much better and can stink up a room! Pray for some softer and more regular movements soon. (I never thought poop would be so good!!!)

Monday, November 19, 2007

Hello from Guatemala!

We are here! After a rough start in the Atlanta airport and our room not being ready when we arrived, we finally have our sweet baby in our arms! Caroline is so big! She is weighing in arouned 20-22 pounds and is full muscle!!! (yeah, right!) She is so happy and full of personality! She is very playful and loves all of her new toys. She picks each one up and inspects it before it goes directly to her mouth.

Apparently, according to the doctor, she is to fat for cereal. They bypassed the cereal stage and went directly to food. Good and bad...I brought down enough cereal for every baby in Guatemala in September and I was not prepared for actual food this trip. I did bring some food, but not the food that she's been eating. The fostermom says that she eats bananas in the AM and chicken flavor Gerber in the PM. What???? We totally missed stage 1 and 2 with the foods???? Oh well. I've been giving her bananas mixed with her cereal and sweet potatoes and squash at night. However, she is a little "stopped up", so she's been eating prunes! Still no news to report from that end! YIKES!!!

Caroline is having a little separation and stranger anxiety this trip. My sister warned me of this, but I sort of dismissed it. She prefers me over Tim and tends to cry when she has to stay with him. If she doesn't see me, then we are okay, but if so, we are in TROUBLE! She loves him, but I guess she's at the age that she has preferences. She'll get better with him and maybe he won't be so nervous around her soon.

The past few nights have been rough sleeping. The first night, she woke up 3 times and cried out. But, she went right back to sleep. The second night, she woke up every hour crying. As soon as I picked her up, she went back to sleep. Last night, was horrible! I put her down around 9 and as soon as I would get her sound asleep, she would wake up crying. If I picked her up, she'd stop and go back to sleep. This went on for hours! I finally gave up and held her in the bed with us. She then went to sleep and slept until 7:30 this morning! I swear that I am being manipulated by a seventh month old baby! Weird, huh?

Stay tuned for later...

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Beautiful Caroline

One of my parents at school brought me this poem she wrote for Caroline. Melissa was sitting EARLY one morning doing her devotion this week when she felt that God was telling her to write down these words. She claims that she is not a poet (I'm not sure if I believe her!!!), but I do belive that God provided her with these words. As I read it, I began to cry! (Imagine that!) It is the most beautiful and sweetest thing! I'm going to get it written in calligraphy and framed and put it in her room. What a sweet reminder that God is in control and He hears my prayers! Thank you Melissa!

Beautiful Caroline
You are held so near yet feel so far
Beautiful Caroline
Your Mom's heart's desire for such a long time
Beautiful Caroline
You were chosen with love from a Father above
Beautiful Caroline
And so your Dad waits for his princess with love
Beautiful Caroline
The timing's not ours but it's perfect and true
Beautiful Caroline
We trust in our hearts that you'll be home soon
Beautiful Caroline
Until then we pray and have sweet dreams of you
Beautiful Caroline
The precious gift of the One who is Faithful and True
Beautiful Caroline

Saturday, November 10, 2007

T-Minus 6 nights (just for a visit) and a very delayed update

It's countdown time! No we are not out of PGN, but we are going to see our little Carolina on Friday! We are so excited! It seems like it's been forever!!! The great thing...Tim's going with me! He hasn't seen her since June and I can't wait for him to see how much she's grown. She's totally going to win over his heart one more time!

I've been a little down lately, no news to report. Thanksgiving is approaching and I am pretty bummed that we don't have our daughter home with us. We were right on track to have her home in November, but for some reason, God had other plans. I know that God's timing is perfect, but I sure would like to know why the beginning of November wasn't the right time???

I've been trying to refrain from calling down to PGN because of the fear of what I may find out. My friend, Becky, whose daughter is in PGN, volunteered to call down there for me. According to PGN, we are on the 2nd reviewer's desk and Laura (PGN lady) thinks that we may be there another 2 weeks before we can go to the director's desk for the final sign off.

I am praying for a Christmas miracle. I would love to have her home before December 25th. I am asking for everyone to please join us in this prayer.

Now for an update on the home front. I am unfortunately still in my aircast. Apparently, my injury isn't healing as quickly as the doctor hoped. Last time I went back, he told me that I had to "baby" my ankle and try to stay off of it as much as possible. However, I guess I am a horrible patient. This past Monday, I went back to the doctor in hopes of getting my aircast off, to find out that I am a HORRIBLE patient! My ligament is not healing and there is still way too much swelling and tenderness around the joints and bones. The dr. said that the bruising around the tallus bone is not gone and I need to wear it for another 3 weeks. I almost started crying! He then proceeded to tell me that if I went on bedrest for the next 10 days, then he would give me a cortizone shot and an ankle brace to wear to Guatemala. However, it's called REALITY, JOBS, AND ADOPTION! Oh, well. I'll see what happens this Wednesday when we go back to the doctor.

My mom finished Caroline's bedding and is now working on the curtains. Caroline's bedroom is looking so cute! We still need to paint, put up plantation blinds, and get one more piece of furniture. Her room has been put a little on hold because of my injury, but it will be finished well before she comes home! I'll post pics of her room later!