Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Sunday Afternoon

Have I said how much I love this little girl? It's truly amazing how much I LOVE this little girl every day! I was telling another mom just the other day, it's weird that she couldn't be more like me if I had birthed her myself! I am so amazed at how God gave us the most perfect child for us. One day, I WILL tell the story of how she came home. But, for those of you who know...I still struggle with nightmares and I still see the "evil one" at least once a week. This past week, in church, I looked up and broke out in a cold sweat. If I was a betting person, I would have given all of my money on him. I swear I saw him. I think that I even stopped breathing. I had to pray to God to help me wake up from my nightmare...in church. It's crazy that he still has such a hold on me. One day...I will be free. I was just talking with Tim as I was reading to him what I was writing and he was experiencing some of the same things. He even knew who I was talking about in our church. We had never talked about our feelings. I guess we had just buried some of our trauma and excused some of it. As it turns out, we are experiencing some of the same nightmares. Please pray for us as we are dealing with our emotions. It has taken us several months before we even recognized our symptoms. We knew we were lucky to get home, but luck really has nothing to do with it...it was ALL GOD!!!!!



4 comments:

Leah Maya Benjamin said...

Don't you love the way our girls are more like us then any other little girl could be, oh and to love them so so so so much. We are lucky. My friend Kami has a BLOG we went to the say IVF doctor and she talked about having post traumatic stress and I tellyou after the 5 series of IFV seperated fromt he adoption you better believe I have that, aI"m still scared to check my email I used for the adoption because I"m scared someone will try and take her away. I"m with you, very worth it but very much screwed with our emotions.

Chelsea said...

I'll be praying for ya'll.
1 Peter 5:7-8

Becky Scott said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ruthanne said...

I'm so sorry you're still dealing with the stress of the adoption process. I know a little of what you went through but I'm sure I don't know 1/2 of it. I hope you find peace soon with all of it. In the meantime, that precious little girl should help take your mind off some of it. :)